Being the bigger person sucks.

I hate this, and Im slowly dying, even if I wont show it.
Sunday could possibly be the end of me, god knows what she has in store... she will be the death of me.

If thats what she wanted, shes definitely winning.

I cant take this.
I really cant.

Fuck my life.

Letter to you.

If you were trying to find a way to kill me on the inside then congratulations, you've won.
So Im a bitch, and I never meant to hurt you but I did and I feel like shit for it.
And I know I said things I didnt always mean, and that we're still friends and I just cant right now, which is all true...but I never though Id have to see you with the one person I honestly cant stand.
The one person who would do anything to see me fall to pieces, watch me cry for fun, and laugh at my pain...and you choose her.
And then, you become friends with that stupid fucking horse...honestly... You might as well have stabbed me repeatedly in the chest and then watched me bleed then walk over my lifeless body and go hang out with them.

Just leave me here to rot.
I though I wasnt good enough before.
and now you pick THAT...

You KNOW shes going to use you.
Pressure you into things you dont want to do.
Flirt with all of your friends.
Lie to you.
Degrade me to little more than dust...
and worst; shes going to hurt you.

You never listen and you take things the wrong way.
Yeah, I dont want to date you now, but I still care about you.
and we're still [were] really really good friends.

I refuse to text if you're with them, because I cant bear to imagine the things they say about me when Im around, let alone no where around...and you'll sit there and listen to it.
Defend me? HA I doubt it.

Just stab me one last time.
Please just hit me with a fatal blow this time.

Today,

Was better.

Im still a little irritated about being blown off repeatedly but thats what happens when you get your hopes up...

Anyway, today was chill..had a good time in Law, and the open house was good shockingly.
My back is killing me and I would give just about anything for a good back massage.

yeah, I dont really know what to blather away about anymore...

Night all.
Kathrynn

Dear Diary,

Fucking love it when my brothers a dick.


Its AWESOME!

Craft Fair!

So, Nica and I had lunch with dad, which wasnt bad.
Had a few "discussions" and that was good.
Then we journeyed to the craft fair and omg, it was fantastic!

I love the craft fair, so when I found out it was this weekend, I was stoked.
I genuinely enjoy meeting local and foreign people with amazing talents in art of all kinds.
One of a kind photographs, paintings, jewelery, all of it.
We had an amazing time.
I finally found earrings for the ONE earring hole on my right ear since the left one closed, and as afraid of self piercings as I am, told Nica she could so the left ear so I can match and be sweet!
She bought me a hand made sterling silver [or something] music note which I love... and Im hoping to score some more cash tomorrow morning so I can go back before its all over for another year..
Any other takers?

Comment or just read whatever...I mean, Charlie's the only one reading this so whatev...
[Hi Charlie]
rofl.


Kathrynn

Hola!

So I started a blog, initially so I could secretly follow Charlies blog and so I could feel special and have some other obscure website. I mean, I have my live journal and I use that but I know everyone who reads mine and I cant always speak my mind because I dont want to offend anyone so I think if I remember to use this one Im going to say what I want and use this more as a bitch blog than anything else...code names and the like but thats about it....maybe do like Charlie and blog about issues and such minus the web cam because I dont like my face.
lol

word.
=]